Carve-outs are real and negotiable, but most dispo services will not offer one unless you ask for it in writing before you sign anything.
Here is what a carve-out clause does: it lists specific buyers, usually by name and sometimes by email or entity, who are excluded from the service's commission if they end up closing the deal. If your guy from the 2023 meetup had been on a signed carve-out list before that blast went out, you would have owed nothing on that spread.
Whether a dispo partner accepts it depends on two things. First, how strong their network is relative to yours. A service with five thousand active buyers has more room to say no than one with five hundred. Second, how much deal flow you bring them. If you are a consistent source of assignments, you have real leverage on contract terms.
The practical version of this that I have seen work: a named-buyer exclusion list, submitted and acknowledged in writing before the engagement starts, with a time limit attached, something like "buyers on this list remain excluded for 90 days from the date of this agreement." That time limit matters because it gives the service a clean edge and makes the clause easier for them to accept.
What you want to avoid is a vague oral understanding. Verbal carve-outs do not survive a closing where fees are on the table.
One thing worth checking regardless of what the contract says: some services write their agreements so that any buyer who comes through their distribution system, even a buyer who already knew you, triggers their fee. Ask specifically about that before you sign, and get the answer in writing.
A licensed attorney should review any service agreement before you commit to it, especially around fee trigger language.
How many buyers are we talking about on your existing list? That changes how aggressive you can reasonably be in asking for the carve-out.
