My transactional lender wants 2 points on a 1.6M double close and the math only works if I hold that spread above 90k

The 2-point quote is actually pretty standard at that price point from what I have seen, so I would not burn energy shopping that down further. What burns you at 1.6M is not the rate, it is the per-diem if anything slips on the A-to-B side, and none of these transactional lenders advertise that number loudly. Ask the first lender what they charge per day past the agreed close date, because if your family office attorney goes quiet for 72 hours you could eat another four or five thousand dollars that is not in your current math.

The thing I would push back on is the 90k floor you set. You said 95k assignment fee leaves you 63k before B-to-C closing costs, which in Leawood on a 1.6M sale is probably another 18 to 22k when you count transfer fees, title on the second leg, and whatever recording and escrow the buyer's side pushes back on you. That gets you to 41 to 45k net if nothing else moves, and you are describing a buyer's attorney who has already missed one window. If that window slips again and you are paying per-diem on 1.6M, your real number could land in the low thirties. That is still money but it is not the deal you think you have. What is your walkaway number, and have you actually told the buyer's representative that the A-to-B close has a hard date baked in?

The 2-point-versus-1.5-point question is really a question about which risk costs you more: $8,000 in certain fees, or the chance your buyer's attorney misses the window again and you lose the deal entirely.

At $1.6M, a transactional lender charging 2 points is asking for $32,000. That is the standard range for same-day or back-to-back funding at this price point. The fee buys you one thing: the lender does not depend on your buyer doing anything ahead of closing. If a slipped timeline already happened once with that family office, the probability it happens again is not zero, and a failed double close at this size means you lose your earnest money deposit and potentially face a breach claim. The $8,000 you save with the cheaper lender disappears fast if you have to re-negotiate or re-market the deal.

A few things I would want to confirm before committing to either lender. First, ask both lenders for references from closings above $1M, not just their word that they have done it. Second, get the confirmation window requirement from the 1.5-point lender in writing, because "48-hour verified funds" can mean different things and you need to know exactly what your buyer's attorney has to produce. Third, talk to your closing attorney about the B-to-C side closing costs, since title and transfer on a $1.6M transaction in Kansas can be a real number and your net of $63,000 before those costs may land lower than you expect.

I cannot tell you which lender to use, and a real estate attorney in Kansas should review both funding agreements before you sign anything.

One thing worth asking yourself: do you have a backup buyer in your network if the family office goes quiet? At this price point, the disposition relationship matters as much as the funding rate.

What does your buyer's attorney say when you ask directly for a hard confirmation date?