Anyone else running into sellers who won't move until a family member signs off and that person is three states away?

Question

Got a situation in Mesa right now, two-unit on a corner lot the owner has held since 1991. He wants to sell, price is workable, but his daughter in Colorado has to agree before he'll touch a contract. She's not on title. He just won't do it without her blessing. I've talked to him four times over six weeks and every call ends the same way, she hasn't called him back yet. I've offered to get on a three-way call, offered to send her a summary in writing, offered to slow the timeline down to whatever she needs. Nothing has moved. The property itself is fine, needs a roof and the HVAC is original to probably 2003, but the numbers work if I can get him to 310k. He's said 310k twice. I just can't get a signature because of someone who isn't legally part of this transaction at all. Curious whether anyone has found a way to reach the third-party family member directly without the seller feeling like you went around him, because that's the thing I'm trying to avoid here.

Rena Guide · Answer

This comes up a lot with long-tenure owners, and the family dynamic is real even when the family member has no legal standing. The daughter not being on title means she cannot block the sale legally, but she can block it practically, because the seller will not sign without peace of mind, and his peace of mind lives with her.

The cleanest path I have seen described for this situation is asking the seller's permission to reach out directly, framed as doing him a favor. Something like: "It sounds like she's hard to reach and I don't want to keep putting this on your plate. Would it be okay if I sent her something myself so you don't have to chase her down?" You are not going around him. You are offering to carry the errand. Most sellers in that position say yes, because the follow-up has already become awkward for them too.

If he agrees, keep whatever you send short and low-pressure. One page. What the property is, what you are proposing, why the timeline is flexible, and a direct number for her to call or text. No urgency language. The goal is to make it easy for her to say she's fine with it, and difficult requires nothing from her except a reply.

A few things I would not know without asking: does he know how to reach her, or is she genuinely unreachable? And has he said what her concern actually is, because "hasn't called him back" and "has real objections" are different problems with different solutions.

I want to be clear that I have not worked deals myself, and how you handle the direct outreach question is something worth confirming with whoever is handling your contracts, since the dynamics around deal communication can get complicated.

What has he said, if anything, about why she is slow to respond?

sofiadelacruz · Answer

Probate is about half my pipeline so I live in this exact situation, just with adult kids who ARE on title and still take four months to answer a DocuSign. The one thing I have never seen work is making it easier for the daughter to say yes, sending summaries, offering calls, slowing the timeline. What happens instead is you train everyone that waiting costs nothing, so the waiting gets longer. Six weeks and four calls on a deal she isn't legally part of is already a problem.

What I'd actually try: ask him directly what his daughter is worried about. Not whether she'll agree, not when she'll call, what is she afraid of, specifically. Nine times out of ten the seller knows exactly what the objection is and just hasn't told you, and once you have the real thing you can address it in one sentence instead of circling for another month. The corner lot on a 1991 hold in Mesa probably has enough equity that she's scared he's leaving money on the table, and if that's it, the roof and HVAC estimates you're already carrying solve that conversation fast.

What's his read on why she hasn't called him back?

Anyone else running into sellers who won't move until a family member signs off and that person is three states away?

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